As I lay there, I feel the gentle push of air from the ceiling fan, the room is completely dark, save for a few hits of light coming from around the blinds and the clock on the cable box. I squint at the clock and see it’s 4:31am.
My back, hips, feet are aching as I try to get comfortable on my old mattress. I toss and turn; my wife is dead to the world right now. Although I can barely see her, I sense her presence and non-movements and hear her rhythmic breathing. She will not be waking any time soon, at least if she gets her way. The house is completely silent, except for the sounds of the sleeping.
My body seems to wake itself around this time every morning, with my alarm clock scheduled to announce its self with in the next 30 minutes. As I try looking into the darkness, it is warm in our room, just under the threshold of being uncomfortable. I have an old quilt covering my aging and aching body. After I push this quilt aside, I feel the air from the ceiling fan hitting my feet and legs and instantly start too cool down. I position myself under a sheet, and start to prepare myself for my alarm clocks version of revelry.
A thought occurs to me. I’m too tired, something is not right. I’ve already gone through this early morning routine for the last the last few days. While I don’t count the consecutive number of days in my head, my body’s fatigued state is sort of like it’s own calendar. My internal calendar and clock are telling me something. After a few seconds of processing, I’ve come to the realization that it is Saturday morning.
I won’t have to hear my alarm clock shortly. I won’t have to go to work today. I don’t need to get up any time soon. I can sleep late today. It is this surprise revelation that I find to be some of the greatest and short-lived joy in my life as of late. It’s the actual act of realizing that I can sleep late, which brings me so much euphoria, albeit short lived. My body craves the rest, will the few more hours of sleep that may allow me to stay up tonight well past 10:00pm, 11:00pm; maybe?
I reposition myself and move my pillow, straighten my legs and stretch. I prepare for a long sleep. How late will I be able to sleep today? Would I actually be able to sleep until 9:30? 10:00am? In reality, it is just 7:15. But that 2 hours and 45 minutes was enough, according to my body that was all I needed today, anything more would just be greedy.
I will go through this again tomorrow, no doubt whatsoever. And the euphoria as I realize that I can sleep late again will not be diminished one bit. I have gone through this early morning weekend routine for the last few months, and each time is as exciting as the last. This is my weekend.